Out of Control
The final stretch is beginning.
The ache in the pit of my stomach is growing daily. Stress and tensions have been building, but my desire to leave here has not grown. There were times this week when I felt very alone, but not as many times when I remembered why I feel safe here. I have debated all week whether or not to say that...but I feel as if honesty is necessary at a higher cost sometimes. Two of my wingmates sent me letters this week, and each word from them induced a little bit of emotion I had been stuffing underneath everything else for weeks.
We had 3rd and 4th graders this week--my favorite age group, by far. Michael was back to being a counselor, which made me a little bit sad since he wasn't on dish crew with me. I helped lead an amusing Night Game and helped build a fire (for the first time here). I sang a round of "My Body Lies Over The Ocean" with Johanna in the dish room...a song parody we continue to perfect as we come up with new ways to die (our favorite is still the mac'n'cheese verse). I had a late night conversation with Jess and Martha about Tourette's that definitely became the best part of the week for me. Staff meetings were full to the brim but always entertaining. Dish crew often consisted of just Wadsworth and me, but we discovered that we function just fine on a team of two during a week of fewer than 40 campers.
I'm going to see my dear Abby McCubbin tomorrow when we road trip to Denver for the day with Hannah, Jenny, and Kayla. This will be the second month in a row that we have gotten together while I am at camp. I'm looking forward to some good conversation and some Brother/Abby/Justine bonding time.
Prayer requests? The Captain, Michael, and I are leading worship next week for high school camp. I am so excited to worship with two of my favorite guys, but I don't want my focus to be on that. My stress level has been rising due to the coming changes and transitions. Our good friend Obed is leaving a week early, which makes me sad, but more importantly, please pray for safe travels for him. High school week is going to be bigger than last year, which is exciting; please keep it, the campers, and the Haven staff in your prayers this next week.
Video for the post is "Out of Control" by Standing Small. For reasons I don't feel ready to discuss here, this song came to mind tonight as I typed this in the dark barracks. The beauty of this entire album (Asleep at the Oars, Dreaming of Freedom) hit me a few years ago, but it slipped under my music radar after I got to college last year. This particular song--along with Sailing Away--carries more significance in my own life than any of the others. I would definitely recommend that you check out Standing Small's projects, as well as Odd New Celebrity, their group's more recent name.
God loves me, and God's love is enough. Always.
The ache in the pit of my stomach is growing daily. Stress and tensions have been building, but my desire to leave here has not grown. There were times this week when I felt very alone, but not as many times when I remembered why I feel safe here. I have debated all week whether or not to say that...but I feel as if honesty is necessary at a higher cost sometimes. Two of my wingmates sent me letters this week, and each word from them induced a little bit of emotion I had been stuffing underneath everything else for weeks.
We had 3rd and 4th graders this week--my favorite age group, by far. Michael was back to being a counselor, which made me a little bit sad since he wasn't on dish crew with me. I helped lead an amusing Night Game and helped build a fire (for the first time here). I sang a round of "My Body Lies Over The Ocean" with Johanna in the dish room...a song parody we continue to perfect as we come up with new ways to die (our favorite is still the mac'n'cheese verse). I had a late night conversation with Jess and Martha about Tourette's that definitely became the best part of the week for me. Staff meetings were full to the brim but always entertaining. Dish crew often consisted of just Wadsworth and me, but we discovered that we function just fine on a team of two during a week of fewer than 40 campers.
I'm going to see my dear Abby McCubbin tomorrow when we road trip to Denver for the day with Hannah, Jenny, and Kayla. This will be the second month in a row that we have gotten together while I am at camp. I'm looking forward to some good conversation and some Brother/Abby/Justine bonding time.
Prayer requests? The Captain, Michael, and I are leading worship next week for high school camp. I am so excited to worship with two of my favorite guys, but I don't want my focus to be on that. My stress level has been rising due to the coming changes and transitions. Our good friend Obed is leaving a week early, which makes me sad, but more importantly, please pray for safe travels for him. High school week is going to be bigger than last year, which is exciting; please keep it, the campers, and the Haven staff in your prayers this next week.
God loves me, and God's love is enough. Always.
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