I am Frozen.

I've seen the movie Frozen twice now. I've never been a huge Disney freak and I didn't grow up with the classics like Lion King or Aladdin...so I can't judge the movie against those. So unlike many other people who loved Frozen, I am not going to write about the strengths of the female characters or the unique twist of true love. Something else about the movie affected me deeply, and I want to focus on that today.

The character Elsa lives with a magical power that causes her to create snow and ice with very little physical effort. Because she hurt her little sister with this power when they were small, she lives in fear of people finding out that she is different, and so she shuts the world out. Besides having an incredible alto voice (my favorite), Elsa sang about letting everything go and being herself without any worries of what others might think about her secret.

The movie wasn't even halfway over before I was struggling not to cry. I sat absolutely still in my theater seat, completely overwhelmed by emotions that I had avoided experiencing since the day I gave my Tourette's speech. The concept of being totally free of the one thing I will never be free from attempted to grab me by the throat and pull me under the icy water.

When everyone else stood up after the movie and began raving about how great the characters were, I had to leave and be alone for a minute. Days later, I still carried my unspoken thoughts in my back pocket, waiting for someone who would listen and understand. The second time I saw the movie--two nights ago in a theater packed with my fellow students--I was able to sing parts of the song with my friends, but I still could not move. The irony of this stillness is that my tics don't like for me to stop moving. The more I move, the better I focus. And yet this stillness...it was necessary.

After the second viewing, I had the chance to talk with three wingmates about my Tourette's. It will never be easy to describe how my disorder affects my life, but I honestly couldn't have felt any safer than I did in my friends' lowly-lit dorm room with the door closed and three pairs of eyes and ears pointed towards me at 1:30 in the morning. At the end of the conversation, my R.A. placed a hand on my knee, looked me in the eye, and said, "We all love you, and that will never change."

That is why Frozen is now my favorite Disney movie. The mix of positive and negative emotions while absorbing the story of a girl trying to hide something she can't learn to control...that made it great. If you haven't seen Frozen, go watch it. If you have...look at it through my perspective once and then talk to me about it. I want to hear your thoughts as well.

God loves me, and God's love is enough.

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