I'll be real with you here--I've been dragging from one day to the next for the past month. It's been a struggle to find motivation for anything, especially writing about not having motivation. But now that I am motivated, let me tell you some of the things on my heart.
I have seen such hatred and sadness and pain this month. It tears me apart. I just want people to see and practice the words of Jesus when He said, "the greatest of these is love." As my heart aches for so many reasons, I constantly remind myself of that command.
I have had conversations recently that reminded me of the different seasons in friendship. It wasn't easy to hear those words...but I know what I heard was true.
I have sat in a classroom full of people who do not know about my Tourette's, begging God to calm my tics down...just for a little longer. In turn, I have sat in a car with a friend who will soon portray my constant companion and received a refreshing curiosity expressed through probing questions. The contrast kills me a little bit inside. The more I speak, the less I can restrain myself from pointing out the pain that I can perceive in others who have not been spoken for yet.
That's what is on my heart, primarily. I want to seek healing for those who cannot find it themselves. If that means making six short films, that is what I shall do. If that means being an outspoken writer and speaker for my disorder, I shall find a way to do it. I cannot close my mouth any longer. There is too much damage to the broken hearts around me to ignore.
Is that a little over dramatic? You might say so. But if Twitter and Facebook users can explode news feeds with advocacy every day of the year, surely I can fill a single blog post with milder words.
Prayer for this week...dead week is beginning. Wow, there is so much to do. That means less than 2 weeks of stress before a new kind of stress begins: Christmas craziness (I mean break, but you know).
God loves me, and God's love is enough.